Are we 'Man in a Beast'?

The Delhi gang rape case has shook my soul to its deepest foundations and has filled me with utter shame, regret and sorrow, for being born in this ‘free’ country, for being born as a ‘male’ - supposedly the more powerful of the two sexes, but still being unable to do anything except lie down and think. The incident has forced me to think, why is it that we always need a quake to wake us from our slumber, and why after every quake we are spurred to run hither and thither only for some time, till the quake has subsided or we have found a safe exit out of the old, shaky building we live in. Why we only react and that too for something bad happening in the immediate vicinity, and why we don’t proactively strengthen the foundations and pillars of the building, so that it can save us from any such quakes from slowly destroying our very civilization.

Before I continue, I will take some time to also think about the girl, the victim who endured, and is fighting for her life (whatever has been left of it). I sincerely pray to the almighty forces to give her all the strength, as it seems rest of us hardly have any, or need any.

They are demanding for death penalty for the six accused in this case. This demand, a very natural one in this furious atmosphere, only tells me about limitation of our minds to think what can be done to give justice to the girl and to set things right, for had there been anything more dreadful than death, they would have demanded that too. I am almost sure though, that the demands will not be met, for our penal code doesn’t have any such provision for incrimination for rape, the maximum punishment being 7 years of rigorous imprisonment. Even a change of law, as being demanded, won’t help for the Article 20 of our constitution doesn’t allow retroactive criminal legislation.

Irrespective of the fate of these accused, which I believe would not be better or worse than what they deserve, it is important to decrypt that why do such incidents happen in first place. And then along with the demonstrations and the candle light processions that are being held to demand justice for the girl, we must as well take a resolve to remove the reasons that culminate into such ‘heinous’ incidents.

From the facts about this case that have been disclosed by media till now, it is evident that the six accused had gone out for a joy ride, not premeditated to be a rape ride. It was the rage that one of the ‘eccentrics’ felt after a brawl with the girl’s friend, that they decided to ‘teach a lesson’ to both of them. It was a sense of power that the six felt vis-à-vis two of the victims, that led them to take the first step towards a situation that later went out of control, and up to a level which I am sure they must be regretting at this moment. Under a sense of unabated freedom, to me it appears that an act of violence against any person is bound to end in a similar way. They man-handled the girl to vent out their anger and logically concluded the action by raping her to ‘teach her a lesson’. Had there been one of them with some hormonal imbalance too, apart from psychological sickness, he might have even ended up sodomizing the poor girl’s friend. It is also important to note here the reason why the brawl started in first place. Apparently, the reason was that the accused considered the freedom of the girl to walk in a free country at night hours with a male friend, hurting their patriarchal ego or against their wretched morals.

From the whole incident, as I perceive it, I filtered out three interconnected social-psychological issues that we, as a society, are diseased with. First is anger and violence. Today, we are becoming unendurably intolerants, with our blood always boiling, temper always on fire. Anger, my friends, blocks our humanly senses, leaving no space for rationality, and lets the beastly tendencies overpower us, making us act and react impulsively, often to our regret later. I don’t know if this is because of some ecological changes in our environment, or due to lack of better avenues to channel this energy, but what I know is that the growing anger needs to be controlled. The anger is what I see, when I open daily newspaper, be it in form of communal riots in Assam, shoot-out in US, murder of own parents by a son refused to be given more money, merciless beating of student by teacher leading to death, conflict between Israel-Palestine, diktats of Khap Panchayats or suicide by a distressed lover.

Closely connected to ‘anger’ is a false sense of power. We all feel angry sometime or the other. But we don’t always end up shooting or raping people. We don’t show our anger by trying to mess up with a hungry lion, or some dreaded armed terrorist. We vent out our anger against the weak, who we know won’t or can’t retaliate. So the false sense of power, or superiority or being mightier than the other, be it in status, physical strength, political clout, color, caste, class, age, money or gender, is what is leading to such acts of violence with impunity. We look for easy targets to show our power, by humiliating and mutilating them. Gandhi wrote, “I fail to understand how men can feel themselves honored by the humiliation of their fellow beings”. So do I. Over and above that how can we, to our convenience, decide who is more powerful? We all are born free and equal human beings. It is just a matter of time that some are apparently strong in the present context. But still they choose to tread over the weaker to reach higher heights, trying to perpetuate their power, but stooping irrecoverably low in the process. The spectacle of a person pulling aside his car to step out and incessantly beat a poor rickshaw wala, only because he failed to hear the haughty honks or the car owner, is both common and heart rending. Some of us may feel bad about the rickshaw wala or some may curse him instead. Neither the former of us would do much to help him, nor the latter take out some time to think of the problems of the rickshaw wala. Perhaps we are so used to such things happening and we are too busy to care. And also we have found it easier to endure this injustice, whether being inflicted upon us or others, than to take the painful path of bringing a change.

This brings me to my third observation, about the incident i.e. accepting the weaker status of women. Whenever any cruelty against women happens, or I must say is taken into mass cognizance, we see men, women, elders, children, cutting across diverse backgrounds, and considering themselves modern enough, calling for a change, a change in laws to be more women friendly, a change in public services towards being more gender sensitive and a change in society as a whole to respect women’s physical and mental integrity. They stage protests, demonstrations, slut walks, candle light processions, shouting slogans to highest pitch and volume and at least, flood facebook and twitter with words of concern. These people include a father, who will go back home to start rechecking his account books to see how much short he is for his daughter’s dowry; and a mother, who will resume making a list of demands from his son’s to-be-life partner’s family; a brother who will go back to hit his younger sister who meddled up his stuff; a son who will go back checking out and eve teasing the girls of his college; a grand-father who will be angry over his daughter-in-law for not covering her head; or a grand-mother who will cuss at her grand-daughter for wearing stylish clothes and going to college rather than staying at home to help her mother. This is bound to happen because we are all hypocrites. And this is what we are to realize and set right. We must start respecting women at our home. We must teach our children and younger siblings about the gender equality, rather than letting them become the baton carriers of this male dominated society to the next generation. And this is not an elusive dream, but already a reality in our own country, in the seven sister states of north-east where dowry is considered a mystery. Unfortunately, however, many of us still consider those of our fellow friends as foreigners. We need to change. But the change must begin at home, not at India Gate or at facebook. Though it is important to voice out our feelings and to tell the girl victim that people do care, what is even more important is to act truthfully for what we stand.

Finally, it is more important to not only keep our focus on this albeit very important but not the sole issue. We must purge ourselves of all evils in and around us. This rape got attention, so many do not. Why not ask the political parties to set up fast-track courts against their members charged with rape, murder, extortions etc. Also, as Justice Katju says, rape is not India’s only problem. We, the people of India, must show a similar unity and fury over corruption, farmer’s suicide, malnourishment, poverty, unemployment, untouchability.

Let us shed our fears and masks and come out together to clean our country, but only when we are clean from within. Then I am sure we will be more capable to deal with the obstinate rest of them.

On Teachers' absenteeism in schools

Following is a practical problem put up for a public discourse by the Collector of a backward district in the state of Uttar Pradesh. This problem is regarding a very major issue within the education system at primary level in most of the government schools in Northern India, especially in rural areas. Apart from lack of proper infrastructure, low student enrollment ratio, huge turnover and absenteeism, the most important prerequisite for learning is lack of good teachers in these schools. Even if teachers are there, in abysmally low numbers, they often do not attend schools except on the pay-day, and are unable to impart any real education to the students. The questions invite implementable solutions at the district level administration:

1. How to ensure that teachers come to school?
2. How to ensure that the teacher actually teaches students and learning happens?

Although it is not hard to list down the major reasons for these problems, which include lack of proper qualification, insufficient checks, lack of proper incentives, career progression issues, indifferent parents, government’s apathy, casual culture etc., it is important to address the issue in a multi-pronged manner with both short term and long term solutions.

• To ensure attendance, install fingerprint based biometric attendance devices in all schools. These devices come at an affordable cost, are easy to maintain, and the feedback can be easily stored in a database that can be checked on a periodic basis. There should be fingerprint attendance at the start and end of every period (or on an hourly basis). This is a coercive method however and will not ensure dedication on part of teachers while in classroom.
• A corruption proof monitoring team to make periodic surprise visits in schools, to see if the classes are being taken as schedule. This however will require a lot of dedicated personnel.
• A working Parents Teachers Association should be set up at various regional levels, with defined reporting roles of officials like school principals.
• The practice of home-coaching by school teachers should be immediately checked as it incentivizes teachers not to attend or teach at school properly, by earning easy tuition money. PTA and feedback from students can be a good way to get reliable information on such practices, as those parents and students who can’t afford private tuitions will be more than ready to divulge the details of such teachers. This is a very serious problem even in urban public schools.
• Collaborations with NGOs can be done to interact with teachers and understand and address their problems, sensitize them about the importance of their role in nation building, and motivate and train them timely. There is need to bring an attitudinal change in teachers. Issues sexual harrasment, transport facilities, toilets.
• Introducing teachers to better teaching techniques, use of IT, videos, graphics charts etc. will instill a new spirit in them. However lack of infrastructure can remain an impediment.
• There is also a need to devolve some important functions like feedback etc. to PRIs and Urban local bodies. It is not only easier to maintain an interface with these legitimate and responsible institutions, but also a good way to improve relations between Local government and District Administration.
• A number of govt. school teachers are for a significant number of days in a year made to serve for jobs like examination invigilation, surveys, census, elections and other non-teaching jobs. This has serious and adverse effect on their performance as teachers. If possible this should be reduced.
• The results of schools, in Board examinations at primary, secondary etc. levels can be used as standard parameters to monitor changing standards of teaching in schools. Using this data it will be easier to identify the areas or schools where the above mentioned systems are not functioning well. It may be argued that the performance depends on students’ dedication also. But I believe that differentials introduced in the performance will be proportional to success of the above methods.

Who are we trying to hide from?

India is a “great” nation. What Indian will not accept this? I certainly do. I accept that our greatness lies in our people, our visionary political leaders, our dynamic youth, our vibrant media, and our strengthened civil society. But, with a heavy heart I have to accept that the greatness also lies in their hypocrisy. We, today, are concerned about everything, ranging from the marriage of a superstar couple, century of a cricketer, illegitimate son scandal of a politician, elections in US. We would know, what happened in the popular TV soap operas, or who abused whom in Bigg Boss, or why did the fight start between a husband and his wife next door, we would know everything. But we either fail to observe, either intentionally, or due to extremely underdeveloped or degraded mental faculties, what happens in our own house, to our friends, brethren and people who really matter.

The recent tragedy of a Punjab Police ASI, trying to protect his daughter from being harassed by goons, being shot dead cold-bloodedly in wide day-light, with people looking at the heroic feat of the murderer, a general secretary of the ruling party is a blatant example of the anarchy that exists in our country, and our souls. If that was not enough, I feel deeply pained to see the lack of customary ‘hullabaloo’ created, amongst public, as is witnessed on other rather unworthy instances. Neither has any senior politician, taken a trouble in trying to issue a trustworthy, or even consolatory statement to look into the matter expeditiously, since it hardly affects any locker of their vote bank, nor has any of our otherwise intellectual columnists, taken effort to pen down their comments on this utter disregard for law and order. Perhaps they are justified, because there is nothing special about what has happened. People always die, due to all reasons in a billion plus country, because ‘that’s what people do’.

On the contrary, the smart and proactive journalists of one of the national dailies hardly wasted time to come back with a biographical note on the ‘disturbed’ background of the accused, detailing about his short and easy path to riches and success in politics, his parentless childhood, and his drinking habits, in an attempt to decode his ‘sickness’ that led to the murder. Of course a dash of spicy bites from his acquaintances, to shed further light on his character – “Did you ever think that he would one day kill someone?” to sensationalize the incident was not missed. Finally a picture of dejected 'murderer' lying in a hospital bed (I don't know why), admitting his folly by saying, "I regret what I did", does nothing but downplays the murder. The story would sell won’t it? Certainly it would, as it is backed by the studies on the psychology of people- They always love to know what is happening the next door. That is why Facebook earns, which has become a multibillion dollar company, and also an easy forum for people to share the photo of the slain ASI’s wailing daughter and to vent out the ‘fury’ that people are ‘feeling’ over the incident.

This is certainly not a unique incident, at least not in India. However it certainly does once again highlight some very basic facts about us.

• ·         It reminds us of the very reasons, why we are so easy to be dominated by others. Just like a few thousand British were able to slowly, but slyly, able to dominate and then rule over 300 million of us; I am sure it won’t be harder for the history to repeat itself. This is because we still lack the ‘unity in diversity’ that we are so proud of. I will not bother myself if someone’s daughter is being raped, or someone’s father is being murdered, in front of my eyes, if that ‘someone’ is not ‘me’ , which can always be. I believe that this is hardly because I am weak, but because I am indifferent and I don’t care. I will remain a part of the hugely ‘populous’ mob, a silent spectator of the cruelties of ‘few’, watch the street show, and leave after it ends with perhaps a teary eye, to tell others an eye-witness account of what happened, debate on why it happened, curse the administration, feel bad, and then forget it. I shall be more than happy, however, to become a part of any ‘peaceful’ procession to protest against what happened, to demand for better Police administration, to protest against the political parties, or for that matter to protest against anything or anyone.
• ·         We are an emerging superpower in the world order. We are ready to become the new leader of the nations. Are we? This incident also shows the underdevelopment of our political landscape. It is strange and worrying to see the level of responsibility shown by the veterans to choose the younger generation of leaders. The fact that the accused is a district Gen. Sec. of the ruling party shows what type of leaders lead us. Or perhaps it is just a glimpse of the internal dynamics of our political parties, which raise such goons to perpetuate their ‘goondaraj’.
• ·         The incident also shows that we have not yet learnt to handle power, be it money power or fire power. This is a very serious social problem that needs to be acknowledged by the policy makers and think tanks of the country. We are taking big strides towards our spectacular economic growth, riding on a huge wave of new economic environment of capitalism. People are getting empowered-politically and economically. But they are not learning how to handle the power. They take pride in showing their strength riding on a broad-tyred roofless jeep, with a rifle on the backseat, zooming around in the cities, and harassing and eve-teasing any weakling- be it a man or a woman- who was not as lucky. I empathize with Gandhi ji who said – “it has always been a mystery to me how men can feel themselves honored by the humiliation of their fellow beings”. It’s time for us to realize the utter degradation of values and morals in our society.
• ·         A worldwide discourse has started on the irresponsible role of media and its impact on our society due to some eye-opening cases that have demonstrated falling standards of journalism, corruption of media, and its capture by power structures and vested interests. I am unable to decide whether to cry or to laugh when I see a news reporter on TV with a long mike asking a person who has recently been traumatized by an accident or a tragedy and lost his/her kin –“So how are you feeling right now?” TRPs and viewer ratings are the only things that now concern our media. They have forgotten that they are not another source of entertainment, but an instrument of informing and empowering people, by making, staging and channeling public opinion against such incidents.
• ·         I want to put the onus of what happened on our Police too, for not being able to stop what happened. But then I realize that one who was slain in the incident was a cop himself. But surely the responsibility falls on our legislators, and our bureaucrats, and ministers and judges, to selflessly achieve that which they are supposed to, and they can. To withhold the ideals of constitution, by working in harmony and synchrony, to strengthen our public agencies, our police and our courts, to ensure that justice is given to people who need it.

Miles to go...

Well, career dilemmas are a part and parcel of the life of any person who dares to think beyond what comes easy to him on a platter and who nurtures higher ambitions. This is that time of the year, when the dilemma have crossed me with a volley of questions, since past few years, which I have always tried to answer with a bit of nervousness, yet a firm conviction for where I want to see myself, a few years down the line. This post is not meant to convey my thoughts on different career paths I could have taken, nor is it to undermine any one of them or to eulogize another. It's more on the lines of an answer to my own self, a self strengthening address that I consider extremely subjective, an answer to the almighty question - 'To be or not to be'.

Tomorrow, the newspapers will be full of the hefty pay package figures that students from the prestigious IITs were offered on day 1 of campus placements today. The multinational corporations that would figure in the news items would range from the flamboyant consulting firms, to the mighty financial industry and investment banks, the IT giants that have become indispensable in our lives and other technology big shots. The names of course had been latecomers to my vocabulary, just like IIT was. In India, unlike many western developed nations where the youth chose a career path that they see to befitting their aptitude and attitude, students here are fed with dreams and destinations, right after they start comprehending speech, by their parents. It is certainly not a tradition if not an exception for a person to look beyond the world their parents live in and show to their children. It is for this very reason that one may find lawyers' children often opting for law schools, doctors' children becoming doctors, bureaucrats' wooing their children to join civil services and big businessmen and industrialists laying down the red carpet for the entries of their children, however qualified, into their legacy sooner or later. Then there remains a fraction, who are unable to pursue the above mentioned few career professions, and they are more likely to guide their children towards engineering studies. Coupled by an insatiable demand for the technologists in today's globalised knowledge economy, it comes as no surprise that India produces almost 3 lakh engineers every year. Of course there are numerous exceptions to this more or less generalized scenario (which happens to be my personal observation, with not a lot of empirical evidence to support with, yet would be acceptable to many). I have for the time being chosen not to take into the ambit of this blabber piece, the non professional courses to avoid further digression from what I really wanted to convey when I began.

So, I happen to be in category of the second fraction mentioned above. I, having schooled in humble schools with a humble peer group, never ever cared to worry a lot about life beyond a student life. With no specific reason to be particularly attached to any common or uncommon career, I took my studies as they happened to come, pursuing them passionately being my only duty. It was only when I chanced to clear NTSE, that I started hearing rumblings of making to some good institution, from my parents and teachers. After matriculating with flying colors, the question of choosing one of manifold path for higher studies never became a huge and cumbersome one to select an answer to. I made an easy choice into engineering stream. I was till then, not one of those few who knew what they want to do with a clear and concrete aim. Being inquisitive about hows and whys of everything, and a so called scientific approach, I dreamt of becoming a scientist or join NASA when I was small, endless skies always took over my imagination. But I feel so naïve to think back, that those dreams were never substantiated with the information of what it actually took to be one. Anyways incidentally for me, but deliberately on part of my parents, I started taking coaching for IIT JEE, which I eventually cleared.

It was then, at IIT, that I was out of the boxed life (not that I despise it) for the first time. To begin with, I took over this place's curriculum also in a mundane school-like way. But sooner than I realized, I came across the window to the real world. Blessed by ambitious nature to excel and succeed, an enlightened group of seniors ready to act as guiding light, and a more exposed peer group, I happened to see what lies beyond a students' life, and the notion of making over to the next phase of life started hitting me.

I did everything I felt a serious student and a person with opportunity to learn should do. Knowing well, that the rat race is ubiquitous, and just being in IIT doesn't matter any longer, I tried to maintain a profile well suited (at-least this is what I think, as it was not put to many tests) for making to any of the promising careers, either in the firms that are going to be mentioned in tomorrow's newspapers, or to the even higher institutes of learning, which might as well have got me into NASA, who knows!!

It is here that I would like to look back again, in times when one seed was sown when I was small. I remember the long evening walks my father used to take me for. It was during those  walks that I got to learn the important lessons of life and world as seen by my father. My father had always admired civil services as the best career profession, for himself and also aspired the same for me. His aspirations perhaps were even strengthened by his trust in me and my capabilities. He used to narrate me the incidents exemplifying the grandeur and prestige associated with the services. Perhaps, he himself never considered private jobs as a very good option, especially at that time, when IT revolution was just starting to take massive dimensions that were to be manifested a few years later. I personally had never got into close contact with civil servants, but the sight of occasional red beacon light cars zooming in the town, the grand red walled limitless mansion of district collector guarded heavily by alert policemen, used to catch my attention. I covertly did start to dream of such a future for myself too.

But in IIT, these thoughts took the back seat when I got acquainted to the more glamorous, and sought-by-all, day one jobs from the campus. Perhaps, in fact this may be true for quite many others, my liking for the big shot and often two or three abbreviated company names was due to the distinction gained by those who cracked these, their inaccessibility for most others, and just like a class rank for a school going kid is the ultimate aim, these tags became a parameter for me to judge my achievements.

Sooner than later, however, the old resilient idea came back. It may be difficult to single out the reasons for its revival, but parental persuasion, due to their perspective on (then ostensibly 'limited' but highly 'judicious' in hindsight) recession and a long experience of life, I was again made to think of considering civil service as a career choice. I certainly had the liking for it since ever, but I needed more to convince me. I got a chance to spend a semester on exchange in France. Perhaps the long stay away from India stirred a patriot in me, and perhaps a lot of other events on a personal front and a broader view of the outside world during that period made me study more of the opportunities I would get as a civil servant. Opportunities, to serve better, myself, my folks and my nation, that would allow me to make an impact on lives of millions, a success in terms of satisfaction indeed. I juxtaposed them with other alternatives I had and found every 'zarra' now conspiring to bring me closer to the old dream.  Out of curiosity for the work in private sector, I got a short stint in the corporate world during my completely non-technical technical internship at the end of my third year. This was the turning point indeed, as I came to know what I never wanted to do. I was certainly not prepared to live a life, without much diversity, a monotonous, fixed-hours job, with loads of money, but hardly any time to spend it. It was glamorous indeed, more youthful, but ill-suited to my nature at least.

I took the decision not to opt for the campus placements last year, and here I am today, back in the horde of aspirants, earlier for securing a place in IIT and having succeeded in it, now for getting into civil services. This brings me back to the theme I started with. A dilemma. This dilemma is certainly not because I am not sure what I want to do, but certainly arises out of the fact that the path of a civil servant aspirant is full of despairs, as numerous as hopes. It is a long one, with immense uncertainty. Preparing for this exam becomes even more strenuous when the burden of taking up responsibility of bearing up oneself starts piling on. I do not doubt the fruits of success, but the dent of failure can be devastating. At this juncture, when the path ahead is vague and indistinct, the thought of taking up the more common path would appear sensible, especially when I would read through tomorrow's newspapers, stopping to think what I missed.  But having written through this piece of blog, I have relived the moments of my life that made me take the decisions I took, and now I know again that I took them for a reason. It may take some time for the efforts to bear fruits, or they even might not. But for sure, irrespective of the consequences, I won't lament in grey years of my life, when the gains and losses of present would become irrelevant, that I did not do what I always wanted to do, or at least tried for it - to pay back to my people in a way I feel it is meaningful.

Euro Trip IV (21.12.09): Zurich and towards Italy...

Zurich was added to our itinerary on my insistence. Had it been otherwise, we would have reached Italy a day earlier. Later we realized how the decision was a lucky one. Zurich is the largest city of Switzerland, and also its financial capital. Switzerland is known to have three lingual cultures. People speak French, German and Italian, depending on the region's proximity to the respective countries. In Zurich, German is used. We were not able to travel in Germany due to time shortage, and I believed that Zurich will, to some extent, make for our loss. Often mistaken as political capital (which is Berne), the grandeur associated with the very name of Zurich was enough to bring others on board too, as no one wanted to leave Switzerland, without touching Zurich.

Our experience in Zurich was actually a touch and go like. We were greeted by a great hustle bustle at the Zurich railway station, which was larger and more spectacular than some of the major Indian airports given that Zurich is central node of the extensive railway network of Europe. The Christmas celebration mood was of course apparent everywhere the main central hall was lit with colorful lights and floating decorative chandeliers and balloon structures.

We didn't have a lot of time to spend here, may be some 6-7 hours. We quickly grabbed a copy of free city map from a nearby information centre and set out. The temperature had grown uncomfortably cold since we set out from Toulouse, and a wave of cold breeze hit us as soon as we stepped out of the railway station. It was all white due to snow, but still pleasant and inviting. Due to paucity of time, we chalked out a circular path through the streets of Zurich covering as much as possible, and visiting the important churches and cathedrals and parks along our way, taking a turn from the banks of Lake Zurich and returning through the market along the river Limmat that connects the lake.

Zurich is the financial capital of Switzerland and one of the favorite places for all big shots of India to have bank accounts, given the tax haven nature of the country. Anyways the riches people here held were immediately visible all around. Right from the fashionable dresses people were donning, to the classy bikes and occasional Bentleys and Porsches, everything talked about the high standards of living of this city. No doubt Zurich is one of the costliest in world. We happened to see the posh brand hotels and the banks like UBS, Credit Swiss etc. after every few furlongs. We would take some time to stand, observe and absorb the glamour around only to be distracted by the passing by high frequency trams.  The overall energy of the city and its people was immense.

We caught the sight of an Apple store across the road and decided to adore the latest in the series of crisp gadgets. Here we also got access to free internet on the laptops on display and we checked our mails to match our plans with those of others we were to meet in Rome. Here I got to put my hands on Apple's Mac Book Air, a Wow thingy!

We took short breaks to pay our obeisance to Christ at Grossmünster, an Old Romanesque church; Fraumünster, an Old Gothic church; and St. Peter's Church. We also passed through a couple of snow covered parks, which being built on rather small raised hillock called Lindenhof provided a semi-panoramic view of the city below. Here we found oldies playing chess on large life-size chess boards made of concrete slabs. It reminded me of the chess Harry Potter and friends played during their quest for Sorcerer's Stone.

After a long walk we reached the lake Zurich, a calm and serene lake with flocks of birds flying over it. The lake is known for its clean water which is fed in the water supply after being duly purified. It was here another interesting event happened. I had wanted to buy some Swiss chocolates, and had come to know that they were sold cheap here at a factory outlet of Lindt, that was some 15 km away. I had almost accepted the inability to go there due to lack of time when I got to know that a bus flew up to the place from right where we stood. I talked about it with others. Isha had already bought her stock of chocolates, Rohit wanted to rather go around in the city. At that point of time we had around 2 hours more and a round journey up to Lindt outlet would take 30 min. I checked my watch, and in a split second decided to give it a try. A walk through the market would have been good, but a chocolaty relic from Switzerland for half the price was better. Pinak decided to accompany me and Telang, Rohit and Isha chose to stay back and meet us at the station.

With a constant stare on the watch, we ran towards the bus-stop. The bus flew every 15 min. As we sighted the bus arriving, we realized that unlike in France, where tickets could be purchased inside the bus, here we needed to take ticket from the vending machine at stop itself. But now, stopping to purchase the tickets meant missing this bus and wasting 15 minutes. We ventured to get inside with 5 Euros (fare) ready instead and behave innocent if asked for a ticket and produce the note. Luckily there was no checking and we enjoyed the 12 min ride for free. We literally ran on our heels from the “Lindt & Sprüngli" stop to the outlet, did our shopping in stipulated 10 min, indifferently picking the chocolate packets, paid the dues and ran back. The whole trip was hence completed in record 1 hour back to Lake Zurich with delicious chocolates and 1 hour to spare, enough to enjoy the marketplace along Limmat too. Chocolates were indeed so good, that they were praised by everyone who got to taste them back in India.

Darkness was taking over, so without venturing anything else, Pinak and I took the straightest path on our map back. The evening market was a great sight. We just glanced through the display windows of the showrooms in our way, displaying costly Swiss watches from Mondaine, Swatch and the all in one Swiss Army Knives from Vicotorinox and Wenger. We reached railway station well before time. Feeling hungry, I and Rohit decided to go to the Mc Donald's across the road and get some burgers, our feast for the day and also our evening meals.

At the station, there was a perceivable increase in rush, with thick jacketed people running all around. The electronic time table display was all in red showing that most of the trains we delayed and many cancelled. We knew something was wrong. But our train was on time, and we boarded it, taking our cozy seats and opening our packed meal with a sense of pride.

The last two months...

A month exactly has passed between the day I finished with my exams and this day. This month was one of the laziest months of my life, a long break at a stretch (though it was needed). It was a month full of mood swings, from high hopes to desperation, a few lame visits to relatives, long but often repetitive talks with my father,  flipping over TV channels with utter lack of interest, reading through a few books from papa's cupboard, relishing the dishes from mummy's kitchen, and wait for the stipulated time period to end. The phase of my life that I am going through is one of the most unpredictable.

Till September end, I had gone through the most strenuous four months ever, with pressure becoming unbearable, and I was longing to be at home, in love and affection of my parents. I landed home on 30 Sept, but the respite was limited to the 5 hours car journey from Delhi to Chandigarh, as was expected. As soon as I reached home, I was supposed to bury myself back in the heap of books. I knew somewhere in my heart that it would hardly be of any use. But this examination can be full of surprises, both pleasant and horrible, so who would take a chance. Fear and anxiety was already gripping me. I thought I was losing my confidence like sand slipping away from a clenched fist. Perhaps I felt that I was the least prepared of all candidates appearing in the exam. In the hind sight I know I was grossly wrong and I need to get over my idiosyncrasies next time and the world will be mine. But anyways, this time it was not my time. Insomnia was obvious in such conditions. Even the siestas after lunch, that I used to relish at a time, became nightmarish, with me getting up more tired and tense every time after one. Somehow I did gather myself before the fateful day of 5th October arrived.

I was ready for every extremity to happen. I had no expectations. And to some extent I was confident at least for this first exam. The day passed, Paper 1 and then Paper 2. Paper 2 had some moments of unease, but in the end I emerged out of the exam hall with a faint smile and a feeling that it didn't go so bad after all. I knew I could have done better, but nothing goes perfect, right?

The other two days had to be normal, English, Hindi and Essay. In fact I felt quite good after I wrote my essay, though the results shall reveal the truth. But the real cause of worry was waiting ahead.

"Lok Prashasan", better known as PubAd had never been my forte. I used to feel a bit comfortable with it, till the wretched results for the last year came and shattered the hopes of all those with PubAd optional. I hadn't researched a lot before opting for it two years ago, and hardly knew what marks it actually fetched usually. But I considered it to be essential and quintessential choice for the likes of me. But the trends seemed to be flipped after the May's result, when even the toppers seemed to be trailing behind the magic 50%. This caused an intense fear psychosis, and I repent today for not having surfed through the previous year results too, which could have helped to mitigate the fear by some extent. Over and above, that cursed test series that I joined did everything to take my confidence to the lowest ebb. Confidence is most prized resource in this endeavor, and interestingly I knew it forever, yet I am what I am. One thing that today I can hope and wish to serve me perhaps is that I never lost hope and continued to put in my best efforts. Anyways, the first paper was a disaster. Lack of writing practice and inability to complete the answers in given time took its toll. I was numb during lunch time. But a general feedback about the exam was that it was exceptionally tough. I quickly brainstormed for a new strategy to tackle the paper 2 which I considered to be relatively easier for me. The way I fared in the earlier three exams had put me on a safer ground and I tried to maintain my cool by thinking about the remaining ones and expecting to do better at least in them. By god's grace, the second one was relatively much easier and I performed to my satisfaction.

I now had a week and a day more before the final stride, Physics. I was good at it, and it was the last chance. I had high hopes from it. But the pressure to perform and the regret of the last exam was enough to screw this one too. There were a few topics that I was weak at. I did prepare them but not to my satisfaction, knowing that it was rare that a question would be asked out of them. Hydrogen atom problem was one of them. Even on the last day I wanted to revise it once, but I preferred to give time to other important topics. By the time the day before the exam ended, I had gone through everything I felt I needed to. I was rather happy and cool. But things were not supposed to go right. I switched of the lights and went to bed, but I couldn't sleep!  12 AM, 1 AM, 2 AM, 2:30 AM, no sign of slumber. Now the fear of exam was overcome by fear of not being able to sleep, which was the thing I needed most at that time. I sheepishly woke up my parents. My mother immediately got up, hugged me, tried to calm me, and sat beside me patting me to sleep. Mother's love is truly the most magical feeling ever created. I did finally close my eyes at about 3 am and got lost in dreams. But the damage had already been done. I got up in morning with a faint body ache and dizzy head. And when I was doing the morning chores, Split!!! I got a severe sprain in my back. Perhaps anyone else would have chosen to stay back and skip the exam at that very moment. But I somehow kept my spirit high. I went for the exam, wrote, the answers, paper 1 and then paper 2. No prizes for guessing, it was a disaster again. The worst dreams had come true. The topics I had left out considering being less important stared at me mischievously in form of weird questions. I freaked out, made all wrong choices of questions out of fear, and so it ended, in a grim.

I knew I had become a loser this time, having failed all hopes and aspirations of my folks. It wasn't lack of preparation, but lack of gusto in which I ought to take this venture. I tried to appear fine for the first two days after the exam, both outwardly and inwardly, as if that was how it was supposed to go as I wasn't prepared at my best. But sooner the reality started hitting me on my face. I had wasted this precious opportunity to make it this very time. I had let it go.

It was followed by a tumultuous war inside me. I knew what had passed was past, unchangeable. I had to look toward the future. There were lessons to be learnt from this experience. And these lessons shall become my shield in future. And moreover, as my father always tries to convince me, it was not a complete failure. It is true that the exam brings many surprises. May be there is one in store for me too. After all no one is able to do perfectly well, after all those who are competing are also like me.

With this good hope I have prepared myself in this last one month, for greater dedication, perseverance and relentless effort in the next one year. 'Do or die' won't suit me better anytime else. It’s time to move back to Delhi. It’s hard for me to leave home, not because of the comforts, but because it hurts to part from parents at time when even they need me. But there is no free lunch. And life is tough indeed.

(This post was written after writing mains examination in my first attempt (CSE 2012). I cleared mains but could not clear after the interview. My marks were as follows: GS1: 114, GS2: 115, Essay: 112, Physics1: 151, Physics2: 115, PubAd1: 52, PubAd2: 86, Interview: 165)

Euro-Trip III (20.12.09): In heart of Switzerland

To move on was the destiny. Due to extreme weather conditions, we hardly were able to follow the exact itinerary we had plotted. But one thing was planned well. The whole group had fixed it pretty well in advance that 18 of us were to meet in Vatican City on the Christmas Eve. We wanted to at least do some justice with our travelogues in Switzerland and then to see a bit of northern Italy before hitting the Colosseum. The day was 20^th December, 2009 and it was decided to spend two more days in the Swiss paradise. We hadn’t many choices on board, neither did we want to experiment anything unconventional, so we set our foot towards Lucerne.

Lucerne/Luzern is a beautiful small city in heart of Switzerland. With nothing especially spectacular, everything is spectacularly mesmerizing about the city. A fine blend of new and old, the city is full of energy in its main market place and is a treat for travelers looking for the real Switzerland. But there was something more memorable before we reached Lucerne. It is well known fact that Switzerland has one of the world’s best laid railway networks. The train journey from Interlaken to Lucerne was its proof enough. Apart from the engineering marvel of the high speed rails that take you in between the snow covered jagged mountains and along the stretched lakes, the beauty one witnesses from the large windows of trains is unparalleled. For most of the journey, all of us were simply awed with open mouths, taking our own time to assimilate the reality that we were seeing. There were vast stretches of grasslands covered with soft snow, with occasional cows feasting in meadows. The lakes were majestic and calm, reflecting the grey cloudy sky, with a few of the fluffy puffs kissing their yonder banks, and the fog giving beautiful hallucinations as if the train was floating in air. The mighty Swiss Alps covered with pine trees could be seen on the not so far horizon, sprayed with fresh snow that would fall with a slightest disturbance. Soon the sun rays started falling on the highest peaks, coloring them in gold, a prized sight indeed it was, and more precious than the yellow metal itself.

      

The city as I already said was small, but fun. To our fortune, the day started with bright sun. That did save us from hypothermia. But a layer of snow had already been laid all over, and now it was starting to melt, making the weather even more numbing. And such melting snow always finds its way through the seams of boots, giving your toes a very difficult time. We had our feet covered with a layer of stockings and polythene bags to save them from water but, amateurs we were, the mischief was done.

Rest of the day was spent roaming around in the streets of the city and along the river Reuss that flows through it. Ahh!! The word ‘roaming’ reminds me of an interesting event that happened around here, and I shall narrate a little later. We visited les eglises and other important landmarks marked in a radius of 5 km around where we stood on the map. Few of the sights were certainly remarkable. One was the river Reuss itself. I don’t know if it was the low temperature, or the smooth basin, but the river flowed in a very streamlined manned, defying all laws of turbulence, especially over one of the river gates (Inset). The 14^th century chapel bridge made of wood was a lovely walk. History has it that most of the bridge was burnt inadvertently by a discarded cigarette butt and had to be reconstructed. Sure enough the people around didn’t learn a lesson from history, and a lot of blown cigarettes could be seen in the cracks and crevices of the bridge. Across the bridge was a small fair where people were enjoying in a merry mood, and cultural dances were being performed on a makeshift stage. I chanced to have one of the best hot brewing soups of I-don’t-know-what there. The market was also a very traditional one, like any small town in India and people also looked very simple. What was not very simple was the price tag on each item displayed in the windows. Nevertheless Telang became our proud companion to actually shop a pair of boots, which he hoped would save from the seeping ice cold water.

After some time of wandering around, we spotted an Indian restaurant. The longing for Indian food was unbearable after about 110 days of leaving home. Yet we chose to control and rather stepped in a food store. This looked a real cheap place in an otherwise pocket burning market. We quickly bought some fruits, a large chocolate home baked cake, some bread and butter and juice and feasted upon it. Two ladies were selling world famous Swiss chocolates at the exit of the store. Knowing well we were not going to purchase any from here, we hesitantly picked one piece each that was being offered for tasting. But on realizing that the ladies were least bothered about whether we buy it or not, we picked a handful of then. Chocolates were very tasty, truly Swiss, and we were very greedy, truly Indian.

The last sight for the day was The Lion Monument, a majestic sculpture of a dying lion carved on a wall of a small park. It commemorates hundreds of Swiss guards massacred during the French Revolution. The sculpture was an amazing one, very realistic, that can be mistook for a real one for a second. It reminded me of Aslan from Chronicles of Narnia. We found some time to play snow-fight for some time here, Pinak of course being the favorite target. Here I shall narrate the ‘Roaming’ incident. Pinak, who had proudly acquired a Matrix SIM card from India itself, had a penchant for talking to his near and dear ones (especially his girlfriend to keep her convinced about his commitment for her) back home in India. But he had failed to realize that we had crossed borders and his phone was now in roaming area. He had spent hours, chit chatting over phone till now, when someone reminded him of 3 Euro per minute call charges. He literally squealed over it. And then he told his father to call him back instead and spent another hour or so on phone. It was then someone broke the news to him, that incoming calls were rather charged at 4 Euro per minute. Haha!! He was inconsolable.

Well, finally bowing one last time for the dying lion, we headed back to the railway station. Stupid it may sound, but we were to go back to Interlaken for the night stay, for lodging in Lucerne was damn costly and we had travelling for free. Also it was time to bid good-byes again. Avinash and Swetabh were to part from us here for their escapades in Eastern Europe. We were to etch our path again early next morning, to our last stop in Switzerland. Zurich!!

Indomitable Spirit - APJ Abdul Kalam

The very thought of APJ Abdul Kalam's calm and serene, yet pensive face brings smiles to many faces, inspires a number of young hearts, adds passion to thoughts and spurs so many to action. ‘Indomitable Spirit’ is one masterpiece of a book that acquaints the reader to the beautiful thoughts Dr. Kalam nurtures for the future of India. The book describes in every sense what our country needs in this hour of trial when we our gripped with a  gamut of socio-economic issues, justifying the urgency for highly enlightened citizens, creative leaders, autonomous learners and truly indomitable spirits, to usher India into a realm envisaged as dream India-2020. The book describes the recipe of what a citizen of India ought to be. Full of stories, poems, quotes and anecdotes from the life of the author, the book covers a very wide ranging burning issues like poverty, education and women empowerment etc. and reflects upon subjects like creativity, values, science, spirituality and leadership. Indomitable Spirit is a gripping book, full of lessons for life, both philosophical and spiritual.

The very beginning of the book emphasizes on the role men play, be it at home, an organization, or a nation to drive it towards a better future. The way Dr. Kalam acknowledges the importance various people have held in shaping his life, reminds us how anyone and everyone has an impact on others, how we can get inspired from not only the most successful ones around us, but also the most humble ones. I personally feel that inspiration can be drawn not just from people, but also the inanimate objects and nature around as.

"The ignited minds of the young are the most powerful resource on the earth, above the earth and under the earth. Teachers have a great mission to ignite the minds of the young." Although anyone from whom one learns can be called a teacher, but the teachers at school and the parents are people a person begins to learn in his formative years. It is through their perspective that one starts seeing the world and beyond. One spends a significant amount oftime of his life in school, and this time is when children are most inquisitive and best learners. This puts a great responsibility on school teachers, who must not only be good at coaching children, but must be ready to answer their questions with great interest, so as to ignite the fire of learning, and slowly infuse in them power of logic and reasoning.

Teaching is no longer an easy job, and requires lifelong commitment and diligence on teachers' part to 'sharpen their axe'. It would not be an exaggeration to comment upon the dearth of teachers, both qualitatively and quantitatively, in India. To combat with this situation, it is important to realize the capacity of technology in this field. We need to increasingly enhance our IT infrastructure to make e-learning and interactive distance learning a reality in each and every village of the country. Who knows how many great learners are remaining unrevealed due to lack of good education.

“If one has integrity, nothing else matters, If one doesn’t have integrity, nothing else matters”. Today it is rare to find a person with impeccable honesty, integrity, truth and righteousness in thoughts and actions. The younger generation today feels gratified in insulting elders, bullying the weaker, disrespecting women and hence bringing disrepute to their near and dear ones. The rising cases of crime, corruption, rapes, financial embezzlements and increasing number of old-age homes, children rehabilitation homes etc. are living proofs of the corrosion of our souls. It pains me to see how parents are shown the doors, by their own children, in their needy years. There has undoubtedly been a serious lapse in integration of a solid value system in our education system. The government policy makers need to realize this now. But a greater realization is needed on part of parents who are the first guide of children. Values can’t be taught but learnt from the milieu. Children emulate their parents. Parents must become role models of their wards. Good habits learnt in childhood remain forever. At the same time, a more contextual and relevant coursework in subjects like humanities, social sciences and moral sciences must be included in academic curriculum at each stage of the education system.

Dr. Kalam gives his mantra for developing an ideal education model for 21^st century comprising of five components: research and enquiry, creativity and innovation, capacity to use high-end technology, entrepreneurship, and moral leadership.

India today is second largest country of the world human-resource wise. We have some of the brightest brains in the world. Yet we are a major technology importer today. The graduates from our elite education institutions prefer to go to West to pursue their careers. We have enough scope to grow here in India. What is needed is creativity. An idea can change the life, it can make the impossible possible. But as Dr. Kalam recognizes, innovation needs courage. Thus all private sector, public sector and academia need to collaborate to create an environment that enhances risk taking capacity of people that encourages creativity and innovation.

 Greatest souls of all times have also been great thinkers and a good thought rises from the depths of a clean conscience. It is important to listen to our conscience whenever in dilemma. It is important to keep the conscience alive by constant introspection. In the words of Dr. Kalam, “A virtuous man alone can use the instrument of conscience.” The conscience can be elevated to divinity by art which “helps to bring out the beauty of life in its noblest forms, imparting meaning and depth to human existence, justifying and vindicating the purpose for which life was evolved.”

Dr. Kalam, himself one of the greatest scientists ventures into the subject of spirituality, wonderfully putting an end to any antagonism between science and spirituality, which he says both seek the same divine blessing for doing good for the people. Spirituality is often misconstrued, as something unworldly, and difficult to achieve. Often people consider science and religion as enemies. The book cautions us against such people. Spirituality is the end, science may be a means. Spirituality helps to achieve self realization, to know oneself, to decipher the objectives of life, to lead it in a better way, in service to nation and others. It deals with the eternal immaterial satisfaction that we all seek. Science stands for the same.

Dr. Kalam is known to have a special place for children in his heart. Children are truly a nation’s future and their high spirited enthusiasm and capacity for hard-work can become a key to transform the nation. But it needs to be complemented with correct knowledge. Even after 60 plus years of our liberation, equitable education for all still remains a distant dream and a great cause for concern. But till that goal is achieved, we must not stop children from dreaming, for “dreams transform into thoughts which result into action”. We must encourage children to dream for themselves, word hard and succeed.

I remember having read once that man and woman are the two wheels of cycle of a family. In case any one of them rusts, the cycle becomes dysfunctional. It is high time to realize that not just in a family, but women have great role to play in nation building also. Until the women are empowered, the stability of the society will continue to be in jeopardy. Women are as important human resource as men, and must be empowered with good health and education to make them self reliant and drivers of national prosperity. Every organization must cater to the subjective needs of women, by making its members more gender sensitive, in its policies and actions. It is ironical that where at one place we feel proud to call great women like Rani Lakshmibai, Sarojini Naidu and Kalpana Chawla Indians, at the same time we deny even the basic right to live to girl child.

Dr. Kalam’s vision of building a “Knowledge Society” is truly a captivating one. Today knowledge is emerging as the primary resource rather than capital or labor. The society needs to change from mere materialistic gains towards an all round development and empowerment of each of its member. This can be achieved by having a quality and value based self-learning education system, self-empowered and flexibly skilled workers, software drive non-programmed work structure managed more by delegation than direction. There must be an all encompassing endeavor in the fields of Information technology, biotechnology, space-technology, environment, nuclear-technology, telecommunication and information processing to generate more employment as well as better services to ensure constant amelioration of lives of people. The current projects taken up by government like, NPTEL, National Knowledge Grid, NEGP, JNNURM, PURA, Rural connectivity, Digital library mission, Health grid, Panchayat level computerization and e-kiosks etc. are commendable steps towards becoming a knowledge society.

The book constantly reminds the reader of the dream of India 2020 and his responsibility of contributing towards it. It ignites a strong feeling of patriotism that surmounts all individualistic or narrow communalistic feelings. We today hold an increasingly important place in the world order an integrated action shall certainly transform us to a developed nation soon. Dr. Kalam visualization of a competitive developed India is visionary, “A nation that brings smile to billion plus faces”.

Today we are facing a serious threat from theological fundamentalists that hinder the universal harmony by spreading hatred amongst men and using instruments of terrorism. Dr. Kalam has in his book, simply resolved the causes of terrorism into deprivation, that leads to frustration, alienations and often to destructive activism. The only way to counter is through an inclusive development via democratic deepening and through an enlightened citizenship.

In any project, it is not sufficient to just identify the necessary stages and components, but equally important is a leader who, through his wider perspective and meticulous planning, drives forward the project towards its goal. India also needs a young and creative leadership. Dr. Kalam recognizes fourteen traits a leader must have, i.e. honesty, optimism, determination, looking beyond, judgment, problem solving, courage, being concise, collaboration, stimulation, providing assistance, fervor, public speaking and organization. I would like to add another, i.e. compassion. His multitude of experience in ISRO and DRDO as gives ample insight into what it takes to make an organization successful.

The title of the book itself suggests that we have everything today we need to grow as a nation. All we need is an indomitable spirit, a spirit full of devotion for the goal, which cannot be deterred by minor or major obstacles. There is no path that does not offer obstacles. It is by sheer hard work, sweat and perseverance that we can conquer over these obstacles. A successful leader can never be defeated by problems, but he defeats the problems. In fact it is our perspective by which we may measure the dimensions of a problem. A person with courage, faith, ability and capability never sees any problem as big enough to stop him. There are innumerous persons, who despite of their social, economic and/or physical disabilities have left a mark on the world. And so do we all do create a page in the history. It is up to ourselves that what is written on that page, what we would like to be remembered for? This very inspiring thought sends my adrenaline rushing and I shall conclude with a strong determination that “As a young citizen of India…… ….. I will keep the lamp of knowledge burning to achieve the vision- Developed India”.